Words of Encouragement

Archive for January, 2012

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS – HUSBAND’S REBUTTAL

New Year Resolutions Husband's RebuttalThese are my New Year’s resolutions.  Take them or leave them.  My wife posted hers which calls for me to have some too. Female readers may need to ask for clarification.

  1. Is there a scientific reason that a guy cannot wear the same shirt every day? If not, then I’ll wear my comfortable shirt until people notice…
  2. I will be happy with my hair colour as it grows out of my head.
  3. I will watch more movies where justice is done in order to maintain clarity on what is right and wrong. Not all movies have to make you cry. A little shooting and exploding keeps your mind alert, and uses some pretty cool weapons.
  4. I will keep my razor locked up. I want to be able to shave, not to rip the stubble from my face. I may be tough, but there are limits.
  5. I will commit to spend at least an hour in Princess Auto whenever I am in a city with that store – jewellery stores notwithstanding.
  6. I will use my palm sander to exfoliate my calloused feet. 80 grit works great.
  7. If it’s itchy, it has to be scratched. Look the other way if it bothers you.
  8. I will use the only tool in my manicure set – a jackknife. It is an exemplary tool.
  9. I will drive over the sidewalk in order to parallel park. It is safer and more efficient.
  10. I won’t worry if it matches – I don’t have to look at it.
  11. I will read every electronics store flyer carefully and only buy good deals on useful stuff.
  12. I will eat lots of healthy food. Men need their protein, especially BBQ ribs and porterhouse steak.
  13. I will recognise white, yellow, orange, green, blue, brown and black as colours. Don’t bother me with colours having more than 6 letters.
  14. Meat will be thawed with the blowtorch.
  15. I will eat enough rabbit food and weeds from the lawn so I can tell my doctor that I have healthy eating habits but I refuse to pay for rabbit food in a restaurant when there are more palatable options available for the same money.
  16. I will ensure that my tools are up to date with the most efficient and labour saving devices. I will buy another drill.
  17.  Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you. Genesis 9:3 is the scripture that goes with this devotional.

Sincerely,

Jeff

Copyright 2012 January 1 Cyndi den Otter – All Rights Reserved May be used with author’s permission